Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 7 April 2009

image for Notorious Chicago Gang "The Manc Boys" Jailed.
"Yer Alraght? Yer basstard"

A notoriously violent gang have been jailed for life. The "Manc Boys" were accused of turning Chicago into something like downtown Manchester. One local resident, John Cole of Nova Mews, said "They would appear heavily armed. Then they would shoot the place up. Then they would use their trademark catch phrase 'Yer alraght?' before speeding off."

The Manc Boys terrorised Chicago for over a decade. They frequently raided stores seeking out Kebabs and tins of Boddingtons. If they didn't get what they wanted they could turn nasty. One person who fell foul of the gang was Charlie Patel. "They took me back to their hideout which they called New Trafford. Their they tortured me. They played Oasis albums and threatened me with Simply Red. I was lucky to get out alive."

The gang was led by the brothers Stan and Eric Arkwright. They ruled through fear. Often they would beat enemies senseless with a black pudding.

Police eventually closed in on the gang. And now they are behind bars Chicago is safe. The city can start to reclaim its identity. Downtown Manchester will no longer haunt the people of Chicago.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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