Loveable ex Dental nurse Jade Goody, 27 has condemned spoof writer Monkey Woods as being prejudiced.
Ex- reality star and Ex-human Goody hit out at Monkey Woods yesterday. "I am part darkie myself yaknow. I am bored by Monkey Wood's blantant over-use of charientism and cacophemism for my darkie brethren - it is an abomination to the Lord- who is ironically my next door neighbour".
Jade was a Good 'UN
"It is quite apparent he hates darkies and uses the eloquent title of satire to hide his hatred. The reason I know this is because I adopted this tactic from time to time when I was a homosapien on the planet Earth"
Jade to appear on Mastermind in Heaven
Jade the Ex-millionairess whose IQ is now '120' continued " I simple do not know why he doesn't write NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER PAKI PAKI PAKI COON COON COON WOG WOG WOG WOG - This is my story- The END and drop the pretence of satire"
Dead Fascist Oswald Mosley waded into the argument with his brown-fencing shirt and tactile thigh-length kid-leather black boots. In his farmhouse retreat in 1488 Demon Street, Hell the ex-Lord of the realm added "Monkey Wood's clearly hates Nig-Nogs and Fuzzy - Wuzzies but simply cannot say it without shielding his freckled sweaty body behind a pitiful attempt at humour.
"In my day" Mosley added "We would have sent him three white feathers in an envelope and asked William Joyce to give him a good kicking in the nether regions followed by a sound kicking to the testicles. If I know my cowards well - Monkey Woods will probably use the specious third-person argument and claim he has 'brown' or 'unpleasantly foreign' looking friends or ludicrously claim to despise everyone with equal abhorrence - which is clearly not true- this is a simply asinine conjecture... pip pip. I simply hate all foreigners and I am proud. God Save the Austrian Royal Family"
Goody worried about kids
The Archangel Goody had the final word "My kids is part black you know and people like him will make them cry and them is smashing kids"
Monkey Woods defends his hair-style
Monkey Woods spoke to our reporter from his Dudley home. The smell of Faggots and Peas wafted up our noses. Mr Woods looked bemused - scratching his ass, head and armpits; he then held his fingers up to his nostrils.
Mr Woods, dressed in a 'Enoch was white and right' t-shirt said: "Some of my best friends have spoken to Niggers and look see I have been into a Paki shop. Mind you it was in 1985. Any way I liked that Nig-nog on the telly years ago... What was his name... oh yes Al Jolsen the best coon in the world."