Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for Easter Bunny: "My Porno Shame"
No Wonder He Looks Shagged Out

Easter Bunny has revealed that the stories are true. He has a past as a porn star. Recent revelations in the press have forced 'EB' to come clean.

"Yes, it's true. Some years ago I was down on my luck. Easter was still viewed as a religious festival. I needed the work. This guy approached me and said if I wanted to make money he could help. Look, I had just bought a warren and the mortgage was crippling me. I had to do it."

So began 'EBs' career in the porn industry. Films such as "Bugger Bunny", "Rampant Rabbit" and "101 Uses For A Carrot" made him a star of the underground scene. However, the chocolate egg market picked up and he knew that he couldn't stay in that game for long. "I felt dirty and used. Don't give me that crap about empowerment. Some of the things I had to do were so degrading."

He moved on and for a long time has been a respected member of society. All this has ended with the news that the Home Secretary's husband was caught watching "Bunny Bangers II" at the taxpayers expense. "If it hadn't have been for him nobody would know. That film was only released in Bulgaria. But now everyone will know that I was in a porn film with Reginald Bosanquet."

The Easter Bunny has cancelled his latest public engagements and is seeking to hire Clax Mifford, the well known bullshitter and publicist.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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