Written by IN SEINE
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Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for New television series: "I'm a politician, get me out of here!"
"Some of our government heads look into the distance on Devils Island"

TV bosses are debating on what to call a new show, should it be; "Second Homes?" or "My Little Empire?" or "At Your Expense?" They finally agreed on a name. Thus a new (reality) television series is to be broadcast later this summer called: "I'm a politician, get me out of here!"

The programme will feature only 20 politicians from all parties who have been caught red-handed (or at least red-faced) claiming expenses for things such as second homes, fireplaces, TV porn subscriptions and a bathroom sink plug. As there will be no shortage of contestants, the short list for those taking is hotting up!

Some of the favourites are likely to be: Jacqui Smith, Geoff Hoon, Tony McNulty, Hazel Blears and even Tony Blair (although it is fair to say that he is no longer a politician).

The lucky few will be flown to a remote Scottish island, inhabited by sheep, given the expenses they have claimed and told to build a house suitable to merit those expenses. This will result in a village of luxury dwellings which can be used for an episode of Location, Location, Location or a new soap opera, called Devil's Island or something.

Later, in the autumn, ITV will be launching a similar programme called: "I'm banker, get me out of here!" Once again, it will be hosted by that famous Geordie comedy trio, 'Grant & Dick'. This one will feature Sir Fred Goodwin and will simply see what he can endure at the suggestion of viewers. The only way to escape is to pay £700,000 or to forfeit his knighthood (or even both).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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