Written by Lightning Conductor
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Saturday, 11 April 2009

image for Gallagher Finds God!
Noel Gallagher pictured above....... 'Frigging in the Rigging' !

Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher, today announced he was putting the finishing touches to his latest project.

As he stood drinking Special Brew in the garden of his estate in Chalfont St.Peter it was hard to ignore the giant structure towering above us blotting out the sunlight in Ozzie Osbourne's garden next door.

"I've built me an Ark" joked the bearded brother of Manchunian Monkey Liam, smiling cynically and pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the 'Biblical Ocean Bobber' behind him.

When questioned as to the motivation and purpose behind the construction?, Gallagher explained that "it'd come to him as he'd been writing the song 'Whore of Babylon' for his new double album...'Old Testament....New testament" !

Gallagher denied that he'd suddenly found God although he did admit that he was cross with the world and couldn't forgive, unlike the guy on the cross who should've been really cross but could forgive.....if you know what I mean?

"I'm gonna call it 'Noel's Ark'" he beamed ironically before explaining that he had to pray and that we should leave now.

This was last Friday, since then we've been trying to find out more but an assistant informed us that Mr.Gallagher was too busy 'Rolling away a stone' to speak with us

More on 'Noel's Ark' soon !

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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