Written by matwil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for Porn shop manager denies hiring a Home Secretary
A blue Home Secertary bird

A porn shop manager in Little Newsworthy-sub-Headline, East Wessex, today denied he had hired a Home Secretary for the weekend.

'Go away!', he shouted from his shop, True Blue Jackie's, 'I deny it all! I just buy and sell, and often watch, pornography. If you continue to print the allegations that I would lower myself to hire a Home Secretary, or even a local councillor, you'll be hearing from my solicitors!'

The manager is married to famous Page Three girl Sam Dalmatian, and some were wondering if it was her that had actually hired the Cabinet Minister, but to save too much scandal got her husband to be blamed by the press, as she's famous and he isn't. Miss Dalmatian - 88", 12", 89", 22" - said: 'Don't be silly, if that was true then I'd have paid for it!'

Perhaps legendary detective Shylock Holmes could solve this mysterious payment, and we contacted him in Baker Street to ask for his help.

'Sorry, I don't take on such easy cases', he said, tuning up his violin, 'it's quite elementary. Elementary, you fools!', and started playing Vivaldi's 'Blackboard Nail Concerto' in C, before turning in for the night with some opium, and a copy of 'Fiddling The Expenses, Then Fiddling With Miss Smith'.

Dr. Watson was at True Blue Jackie's, to hire Sam Dalmatian's 'Labour Of Love Rather Than Loving My Husband'.

Make matwil's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 5?

1 18 9 3

Go to top