In an exposé that exposes things big style, I am ready to blow the lid off MPs who have their piggy snouts in the trough of the public purse.
A story robbed off popular tabloid and rag, The Daily Mail, makes interesting reading, for there are at least 20 MPs who are claiming allowances on upwards of 30 houses each.
One unnamed MP is claiming for an entire village in Devon, whilst another is charging a 100 bed hotel, a castle in Bavaria and a country estate to the hard pressed tax payer.
Last night, Bert Plastic, a hard prssed tax payer fumed:
"It's bang outta order, that's what it is. I struggled all me life and what have I got to show for it? Eh? You tell me that mate. I got sod all, that's what! But these grasping gits is getting away with pure murder so they are"
The Prime Minister is Gordon Brown. He's from Scotland and if you ask me the reins of power are taking their toll on him all right. He looks haggard and worn out and should maybe think of jacking it in and giving David (call me Dave) Cameron a go. But I digress.
Speaking from his Palace last night, a Tory insider told us that all this ripping-off the public is disgraceful and added that you'd never find him claiming for anything that he wasn't able to get away with as a legitimate scam.
By the way, readers may be pleased to learn that Mr Plastic, A government scientist, was visited by Fire Officers shortly after our interview, and the fuming was traced to nothing more than some deadly chemicals that he had somehow managed to mix up in his anorak pocket.