Police in London have launched a massive search for BBC Political Correspondent Nick Robinson, who has been missing since the end of the London G20 Summit.
Robinson, bald, was last seen submitting yet another sycophantic Blog post on the BBC website, in which he described Gordon Brown as 'The Chancellor of the World Exchequer'.
The search teams are currently focusing on the Downing Street area, as it is believed that Robinson may have disappeared all the way up Gordon Brown's bottom.
Detective Superindendent Twat Batoncharge, who is heading up the team investigating the missing correspondent, said, "our investigations are currently centred in the area of the Prime Minister's sphincter. The last sighting of Mr Robinson was just after the G20 Press Conference, when he was reporting with his usual impartiality.
"We are currently researching based on the possibility that a freak wave of hubris from the PM caused Nick Robinson's tongue to be caught in the PM's ringpiece, resulting in him being sucked all the way into his colon".
However, the reports were dismissed by Business Secretary Lord Mandelson, who said, "it's ridiculous. I was up Gordon last night and couldn't feel Nick anywhere".