The shock discovery early this morning of 6 decomposing vegetarians on the steps of the Bank of England has lead to calls for Home Secretary Delia Smith to resign.
Deputy acting vice assistant chief superintendant constable Constable of the Met said at a press conference given by the Royal Horticultural Society today, "we are almost certain that one of our Peelers was not responsible for this tragic incident", he went on to say "none of our officers administered the first kick in the head, it must have been that other lot that were drafted in from Millwall".
Meanwhile, the Home Secretary (Ms Smith), was being grilled by Jamie Oliver at Paddington Bear Police Station.
CCTV footage of the whole affair was being carefully watched by her husband on Virgin Media, proving their marriage wasn't dysfunctional and he did give a toss.
A veggie Vigil will be staged tonight in memory of the fallen protesters whose bodies are still laying outside the Bank and causing a real stink.