Basra, Iraq. Yesterday - As British forces withdrew from this southern Iraq city, they were replaced by US Army personnel, who immediately complained about the food on offer at the British base.
Upon being presented with a Full English Breakfast, Corporal Nick Punishment, of Hackensack NJ poked at the 'food' with his knife and fork for a while before plucking up the courage to tackle it.
"The black pudding shit was the worst," he told us. "It didn't actually taste too bad, but it looked a little like sliced camel shit. The sausages were as bad. Where did they hide the meat? It was just fat. They probably made those things out of eyelids and ass holes or something."
And the rest of it?
"It was all swimmin' in grease man. The bacon tasted like egg, the fried bread tasted like mushroom, the mushroom tasted like tomato, the tomato tasted like roadkill. We need some quality here. Windy's, Maccy Dees, Burger Monarch and shit. I could kill for a decent Egg Mick Muffin."
So was this a thumbs down?
"I gotta go puke..." we were told.
US Army Officers were quick to reassure the men with the promise of a Pizza Shed opening in the evening.
More as we get it.