Chancellor of the exchequer, Alastair Darling, in an amazing bit of political stuff has whacked 2p on petrol but that's not the half of it.
Speaking from his £1,500,000 a week penthouse, paid for by expenses, he told The Spoof.com:
"Times is tight and I feel a bit of a git putting up juice but here's the deal. Get a length of rubber piping and instead of buying petrol and DERV (he still refers to Diesel in quaint Government-speak) simply siphon your juice out of your neighbour's motor"
Neighbours all over the country are said to be up in arms about this and Darling, the only Chancellor to share a name with a Blackadder character, is skating on thin ice with this one.
A spokesman for Hollyoaks commented that he can only afford to fill his motor up once a month.
Weatherfield & Walford
Stars like Peggy and Elsie Tanner from top soaps like Corrie and Eastenders are believed to be unconcerned about the rise. A spokesman for both shows said:
"They're all minted, that lot. So what's 2p to them?"