President Obama and his wife Michelle tonight flew into a storm on the eve of their historic visit to the UK.
As Marine One landed in Regents Park it soon became apparent that no one was in at the ambassadors Residence at Winfield House!
A Police officer in the Guardhouse was refusing to let anyone enter as he didn't have any paperwork authorising entry whilst the Ambassador was tonight larging it at the Guildhall with the President of Mexico!
Bodyguards were hurriedly thumbing through the Yellow Pages looking for a decent B&B for the President his wife, 2 children, 63 bodyguards, hairdressers, advisers, sycophants and a Scottish interpreter!
The Americans even rang the doorbell on Regents Park Mosque where the spare key is kept but no one was in there either.
The Twelve armoured Cadillac Escalades were last seen heading for Tiger Tiger in the Haymarket where The President planned to put his Credit card behind the bar and get everyone wasted!
"Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy" exclaimed the clearly upset President, "The second I stepped off Airforce One, some guy from Ryanair gave me a bill for stealing his slots so I had to pop a cap in his ass!
"Now I can't even get in my own house he hissed spitting on the sidewalk."
"Damn "Honkys" can't never get nothin' right" laughed Mr.Obama as he sped off into the night.