Norman "Master Bates" Brown has finally been apprehended for murdering the British economy. Police formerly charged Norman moron for his ten-year reign of terror, which saw the deaths and disposal of several attractive and healthy companies.
Bates was initially the bookkeeper and more recently became prime minister. Norman Brown claimed his long deceased mother; Margaret Thatcher drove him to kill when the sight of a quick buck over stimulated his financial package. Gordon claimed his long dead, and mummified mother told him to, "expand the free market economy, continue with the liberal restructuring and de regularisation of the city and use a light touch for a financial killing".
Gordon could be seen pacing the attic room of Downing Street dressed as "Maggie" muttering and cursing. When attractive finances sought financial sanctuary in the Master Bates Motel, Gordon could be charming and disarmingly pleasant, especially if the figure belonged to a large public spend.
However, Gordon's mother would berate him for his centre left leanings and tell him to "kill the dirty little public service" by slashing at its budget and then dumping the body in a P.F.I swamp.
Norman Bates did not ask too many questions where the money was coming from, this lead to a prolonged "boom" in which some dubious residents of the Master Bates Motels chain made huge killings and thrived. The inevitable "bust" conflict overwhelmed Brown, causing him to fly into a psychotic rage and kill those with a gorgeous set of figures. The British heaved a collective sigh of hand relief as their psychotic proprietor was lead off in a straight jacket.
Gordon Bates claims his mother befriended, and then killed off, attractive figures who found themselves facing the sharp end of his fiscal policy.
"Gordon had a particular penchant for slaughtering the attractive economy and blaming others overseas for his crimes", claimed Alistair Darling. Film buffs and witnesses were shown a harrowing, savage,"shower of shit" scene in which London was used to launder and clean dirty money for shady financial institutions. "It's the most harrowing case I have ever investigated", said a Spoof sponsored psychiatrist. "Half of this poor, deluded, head case was democratic Socialist, the other half is pure, rabid, Thatcher. He must never be released to kill again".