Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 30 March 2009

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Confess Your Sinful Eating Habits

A Church of England Bishop has complained that by making Hot Cross Buns all year round bakers are detracting from the church's message. The Very Reverend Dr Cecil Pew said "One really wonders why they have to make these buns all year round. The cross is an important part of Easter. By baking the buns at other times of the year the bakers are denying the Resurrection of Our Lord. They will surely burn in Hell."

John Cole of the Amalgamated Union Of Butchers, Bakers and Candlestick Makers said "That is nonsense. If my customers want to be reminded of the death of Our Lord at any time of the year, whilst having a tasty and nutritious snack, then Dr Pew should keep quiet."

I asked passers by in the centre of St Albans for their viewpoint. Charlie Patel said "Actually I don't really like the buns. Sorry." Others were more forthcoming. It would seem that Dr Pew has underestimated the nation's desire for religious foodstuffs at all times of the year. One comment, from David Swindells, summed up the mood nicely. "Whatever next? Wine only at Communion? Fish only on Fridays? When will the Church learn that people don't want to be preached at?"

The Easter Bunny has also complained about Cadbury's Cream Eggs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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