Written by Roy Turse
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for MPs to get 2.33% rise. Enough to pay for their own porn.
April fool's day pay increases for MPs

An inflation-busting salary increase of 2.33% has been agreed for MPs. The increase is said to include 2.33% to cover unexpected additional expenses, and a performance-related element of 0%.

MPs had been calling for an 80% increase to replace the potential loss of their second home expenses, but have been assured that these are now safe after Jacqui Smith threw her husband to the press wolves to detract from the real issue. By agreeing to pay back the £10 or so that had been wrongly claimed for adult entertainment on cable, the matter of hundreds of thousands of pounds of second home claims has been successfully sidelined.

Although the increase is planned to start on April 1st, ministers were denying that the whole idea of taking an increase when the economy was in such dire straights was a joke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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