Written by Mary Hinge
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Topics: Fern Britton, Worms

Sunday, 29 March 2009

image for Fern Britton Cruelty Shock
Fern returns to her sty after being formely questioned.

Amateur garden enthusiast and fat former TV hostess Fern Britton was questioned this week, after she faced charges of gross cruelty.

It was reported that on 24th March 2009 the former model and superstar was snuffling and digging for truffles in woods close to her home when she injured a worm.

An ambulance was called and the poor creature was rushed to a local hospital suffering serious spade injuries to its flanks.

A close friend of the worm gave a statement to police and told spoof reporters.... 'I'm pleased to be able to report that my friend the injured worm that was brought in yesterday is doing well. The poor little fellow had quite a nasty cut on his side - gardeners can be so careless - but doctors managed to clean and dress his wounds and I'm confident that he's going to make a full recovery.

A commentator commented: 'That Fern is a right clumsy cow and had no business digging up the worm. He does however appears to be recovering well in the private hospital wing. I am sure it won't be long before I will be able to take him out of quarantine and we will then sue the ass off the offending former personality.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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