Written by matwil
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Saturday, 28 March 2009

image for Ex-commando captures runaway pig
A bulimic Shropshire Prescott

A former Royal Marines commando used his military skills to deal with a huge white pig running amok in a Kent town. The pig, a Shropshire Prescott, was seen running from pub to pub in the Bath Road area of Margate. Police gave chase, and former commando PC McKellar Watt managed to corner it in an alleyway.

'He's always had a way with big, fat animals', his boss Inspector Morose said, 'and a number of officers were daunted by the huge, aggressive pig. But PC Watt showed great skill at capturing the Prescott, which was taken to Margate McDonald's and housed in the kitchen there, until its owners are known.'

'It seems someone broke into the flat where the Prescott and a pet secretary sleep at night', Inspector Morose added, 'and let the massive monster out. But it is quite happy in McDonald's, bedded down under a mountain of fries.'

But the pig will probably not eat any of the fries, as it is a bulimic pig.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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