MPs today voted for a new trough at the Palace of Westminster. Following a hard-fought debate lasting almost ten minutes, the proposal, introduced by Tony McNulty and seconded by Jacqui Smith, was carried unanimously.
A parliamentary historian explained that the current trough was installed many years ago when there were far fewer MPs. Boundary changes and lack of morals mean that today's crop of opportunists are unable to fit all their snouts in the House of Commons trough at one time.
"This change is long overdue," snorted McNulty, and Smith honked, "There's no point in being allowed to milk the taxpayer dry without an adequate vessel to facilitate it."
Next week sees the introduction of a new transport bill, and there are already calls for an amendment to provide improvements to the gravy train.