Written by Mary Hinge

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Topics: Fern Britton

Saturday, 28 March 2009

image for Fat Fern Hits Out
Fern is now nifty and thrifty

Fat Fern Britton is set to quit Good Morning after finding out that TV bosses surreptitiously filmed her obese torso and used in a BBC news report about Britain's obesity problem.

She is quoted as saying (not that she did you understand) 'I will now always wear a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are Wankers and Twats' written on it wherever I go. Let the tossers put that on news at ten.

A source close to the grossly chubby and bubbly personality said she was currently negotiating doing a stay fat video along with her 'Chubby Chaser' husband Phil Pickery. This should be a top seller in time for christmas.

It is thought that she was sacked from her morning show for giving some rediculous top money saving advice on air. It was reported that her thrifty advice of shortening the cables to all your household electric appliances to save money was a 'cause for concern'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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