Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Computers, mental, Essex

Friday, 27 March 2009

image for Essex Bloke Goes Mental In Computer Store
Power Surges Me Arse!

Braintree, Essex, around lunchtime - Local man, Harry 'The Dog' Hacker, caused uproar in a local computer store, claiming that a PC he had purchased at the store was 'bleedin' useless!' and likening his purchase to a bag of excrement.

Hacker, 35, arrived at the store in a white van just before lunchtime today, and proceeded to unload the 'rubbish' PC, placing it on the pavement outside the store.

"What appened next took me breff away," stated Tracy Puck, 21, "He put the PC on the pavement then he comes out wiv a bleedin sledge'ammer and starts mullerin the crap out of it. Took 'im abaht firty seconds to reduce it to fragments! Sorted!"

"Bleedin' thing wuz crap," Hacker told us. "When it wasn't crashin' it wuz bleedin cutting aht on me. It wuz drivin' me proper radio rental. The amahnt of bladdy work I lost on it you wouldn't believe John. Straight ahhhp. Innit."

A spokesperson for the computer store stated that the machine was sold in good faith, and that either the operating system, the customer's ISP, or power surges were probable causes for any malfunction.

Hacker responded:

"They can ave it back. In fackin' bits. Bar stewards."

Hacker was roundly applauded by bystanders before driving off in his white van. With his sledgehammer.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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