Written by Earnest A. Peal
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Topics: New Jersey, Jersey

Friday, 27 March 2009

image for Isle of Jersey to change name
The common expression, "Jerk it like a Jersey milkmaid" would likely need to be changed.

ST. HELIER, JERSEY-The Bailiwick of Jersey's legislature, called the "States of Jersey" on Friday voted to move forward on a subcommittee recommendation to change the island's name in order to distance it from the similar-sounding New Jersey in the United States.

Apparently, Americans have a poor impression of New Jersey, and do not want to spend time in a place called "Jersey", which is hurting prospects for luring more overseas tourists.

The US state was named by George Carteret, bailiff and governor of Jersey, after a large grant of land in the American colonies was given to him by Charles II as thanks for help given him during his exile in Jersey in the 1640s. However, the US state has become a hellhole of gambling, run-down urban centers and suburban sprawl.

A new name is to be voted on from among suggestions from the island's residents. "Isle de la Normandie", "Fred" and "Guernsey" are the leading suggestions.

There are still several sticking points: the Jersey bank vole, one of four mammals unique to the island, would have to be renamed, as would the famous Jersey cow.

The move may be irreversible, as the US state has indicated that it may drop the "New" from its name to become the "original Jersey" if the island abandons its claim.

Regarding other "New" named locations, New England is considered a beautiful place and England has no similar intentions. The US state of New Mexico is considering dropping the "New" and becoming just plain "Mexico", as are California and parts of Texas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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