London - (X-Files Mess): A fleet of over 100 UFOs has been reported massing above London's X-Cell Centre under cover of the latest cloaking device technology ahead of next week's ultimate bankrupt vanity PR exercise the G20 Summit.
"Earth's ancestral foreskins....er, forefathers! - are going to suck up these lying bastard politicians into their craft and whisk them off to the Interplanetary War Crimes Tribunal on a meteor orbiting Altair!" a PlanetBotch source said today.
But UK cops are having none of it and are dispelling rumors that the entire G20 Summit is a cunning ruse to swoop on the mendacious thieves who conned ordinary humans into the ultimate global Ponzi scam.
"Queen Elizabeth to drop dead on April Fools Day?" a Met source chuckled this morning.
"Could be a bit of an excuse for a right rave up!"