Written by Fergie73
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Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for House Prices will rise this year, say experts.

There is good news finally about house prices. According to experts in the housing industry they are set to rise by the end of 2009!

'It's certain. They simply can't fail to rise,' says Tom Wimpy, an estate agent in Harlow, Essex. Prices have been falling for the past sixteen months, however many experts now believe we have reached a bottom and it is only a matter of time before prices pick up and the rising values carry on as before. 'Price rises are the natural way of things', My Wimpy explains, with a tired, almost crazed look in his eyes. 'That's the way it's always been, and everyone knows that. It's the way it's been ever since I started in this business at sixteen years old, five years ago.'

So is this the times for first time buyers to leap in?

'Oh absolutely,' says Mr Wimpey, waving a whisky bottle wildly before taking a large swig, 'absolutely this is the best time there has ever been to buy. It has to be, because prices can't possibly fall anymore. They just can't. I mean, if they do,' he totters a little on the window sill, 'I'll be ruined totally. Bankrupt. And that can't happen in property, can it?'

At that point, Mr Wimpey disappeared, plummeting fourteen stories to his death.

He predicts that property prices will remain flat until around June, then rise by 10% by the end of 2009 and a further 12% by the end of 2011.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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