Reports from heaven suggest that God is furious with Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury for 'putting words in his mouth'.
According to the bearded Williams God 'will not give happy endings'
God will not intervene to prevent humanity from wreaking disastrous damage to the environment, the Archbishop of Canterbury has warned.
God has said no such thing - Williams has.
"The man is scaremongering" said God "I gave him no such authority to speak on my behalf - nor anyone else, including the Pope or the Taliban - I am the ultimate being and creator and if these men keep on misquoting me I will soon get pretty pissed off."
God has stated on more than one occasion that there will be a happy ending - and knob heads like Williams should just keep out of stuff they do not understand.
"Stick to being a hypocrite" said God as he lit up a cigar and watched the world go by and prepared his massage table and oil for his next customer.