Since the death of newly canonized St Jade Goody, the Reality TV show that catapulted her to heaven itself has been appointed Secretaries of British education.
Parliament spokesperson, Lady Pop Kulture Pearls explained:
"For years now we have been trying to raise the level of the puking brats on John Bull's Island. Nary a teat sucker in the bunch has amounted to anything. But St Jade Goody went from a pot smoking five year old to the newest patron saint of wasting time while watching drivel on the telly.
"If Big Brother can do that for a wastrel trailor trash like the holy Jade then why can't those genius producers of increased human potential do that for all of Britain's kids!?"
The entire traditional course of studies has been scratched and all schools will now conduct Big Brother reality show like cut throat competition in the hope that Future generations of John Bull's offspring will rebuild the empire and get their muling asses into paradise like St J. Goody.