Maida Vale, London: Supermarket Store Manager, Jasvinder Singh (26) has been removed from his post after only having served for two weeks, with a company spokesperson citing the ex-manager's "erratic and bizarre" behavior.
Problems started shortly after Jasvinder took over, and initially manifested themselves as a perceived reluctance on his part, to re-stock any goods other than cigarettes, newspapers, magazines, greetings cards and Happy Shopper baco-foil.
Edna Racist (67), a regular shopper at the store commented "I had noticed a real drop in the level of friendliness and cleanliness in the store. I also found it odd that there should be a skinny angry looking mono-browed man following me wherever I f**king walked".
Spokesperson, Francois D'Hairy-Bevoire (42½) was keen to reassure that business has now resumed to normal standards since his brother, Henri had taken stewardship of the ailing store. Francois was then kind enough to offer me some complimentary stale bread, a dog eared out-of-date copy of 'Le Monde' and a packet of Gitannes.
More news should you have a short attention span and re-read the above.