A sperm bank has taken steps to beat the crunch. Following a downturn in business the Nova Mews Sperm Bank has identified ways to move forward.
Those making a withdrawal will see a significant reduction if they buy in bulk. For example, if they purchase by the bucketload they will receive an extra 20%.
Making a deposit will also be encouraged as this is a supply and demand business. Making regular deposits in Nova Mews will lead to the issue of a loyalty card. This card will entitle the bearer to reductions at Jon Cole's Den of Disaster, a 'popular' establishment for those in need of a little extra help.
Nova Mews has decided to help its regular customers. "When there is trouble, you just need a helping hand." said Mr Charlie Patel, an employee at the bank.
Gordon Broon has welcomed this action. "It's refreshing to see a bank taking action. We look forward to seeing some green shoots soon. Nova Mews proves that you can't beat the British. It's cracking news. Very handy."
City insiders believe that if the business continues to progress then potential for growth is enormous.