Written by Dr Will C U Now
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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Jade Goody biopic planned
The Essex galaxy, centre of the Jade universe.

Renee Zelwegger has been chosen to play Jade Goody in the upcoming Hollywood feature.
"I'll be able to use my Bridgit Jones accent again although I will have to Dick Van Dyke it up a lot." said miss Zellwegger.

Madonna will be playing Jade's mother and Ben affleck is in line to play Jade's widowed partner Jack Tweed.

Director George Lucas was very excited about the project.

"I see this as set in the far far away long time ago galaxy of Essex featuring an ensemble of strange creatures and the unseen force known only as 'The Chav'."

Angelina Jolie will be playing Davina Mccall and the voice of Darth Vader, James Earl Jones will be playing Big Brother.

"I see this as at least a trilogy of films" continued George Lucas.

Publicist Max Hastings was very pleased to be involved with the project "I am especially delighted as Bruce Willis is going to play me, the catch phrase 'may the chav be with you' will be on everybody's lips this summer."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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