Spam, a strange mixture of pork and ham and chemicals, was today back on sale in Montgomery and Python's, London's famous parrot and cheese shop in Shaftesbury Avenue.
'This spam was thought to be deceased, to be pushing up daisies, and to be ex-spam', said the shop's manager, Michael Palindrome. 'We were having a bit of trouble with customers coming in here and demanding spam, so were thinking up more and more ridiculous excuses for not having any. Such as 'we've just run out of it', or 'the delivery van's been held up by roadworks near Northampton', or 'the last bit was just stolen by a cat'. So we had no choice but to start selling spam again.'
One customer, Mrs Erica Bone-Idle, said: 'Well, I like spam and eggs with spam, or spam, spam, chips, baked beans and spam, with extra spam, so I'm glad it's back on sale here. Though my sister prefers spam, pineapple, mustard, dandelion and burdock-soaked spam, with waffles and spam.' And another customer, Sir Trevor de la Bouch added: 'Spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam!'
But French visitor Gaston Bordeaux complained about the spam being sold again. 'You English is crazy, you is fou, you are one jellied eel short of an upset stomach! 'ow can you eat this rubbish? Two pigs' trotters please, and a packet of frogs' legs.'
Spam is also to be given away free - on the internet.