A leaked Government report has declared that the UK's 17.5% VAT is set to be replaced by a new tax that will transparently be aimed at fleecing the poorest members of our society even further.
The new tax, entitled B.E.D. (Bleed Em Dry) tax will be aimed at low priced consumer goods, any item priced at between 1p to £18.50. The 55% tax will bring in £500,000,000 in just a few weeks which the Government allege they will use to fund projects such as 'Research into why the Outer Hebridian Otter became extinct in 1962' and the opening of a new art centre on London's South Bank for retired bankers and their spouse (£489,000,000 allocated).
Government spokesperson Nigel McScotsrarebit said: 'When the going gets tough the poor need to do their bit. Poor people make up the majority of this great land of ours so we all agree that it is only fair that the load should be spread fairly, squarely, and evenly, from the extremely poor (destitute) at the bottom of the pile, to the not so very poor who manage to get by on benefits and the odd bit of ducking and diving, nearer to the summit.'