The Alps - (Klosters/Sloshters Mess): Desperate wannabe royal drama queen Kate Middleton freaked out today over fears of a 'copycat tragedy incident' in the Swiss Alps this week where she and William are courting free media publicity.
"Some people reckon Natasha's 'accident' was a trial run," Kate sobbed piteously into her tenth Moscow Mule of the morning.
"Does someone want me, you know, R.I.P??"
The daftass stickinsect had her tarot cards read before the £40,000 skiing freebie and was said to be gobsmacked that her Queen of Swords was shown impaled on one of the Hanged Man's ski poles.
Liam 'Eddy The Eagle' Neeson is thunderstruck by all this nonsense.