Written by Bureau
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Topics: Poo, Research

Saturday, 21 March 2009

image for Idiots Throw Away Some Good Shit
Ambulance Being Aired Out Later

Doctoral student David Lennett filed a lawsuit against Britain's Leeds University in February because it's custodians had mistakenly thrown out research that he had been working with for the last seven years.

Lennett is studying the rare Butaan lizard of the Philippines and over the years, to examine its diet, had painstakingly sifted through enough jungle dirt to gather over 70 pounds of its hockey, which Lennett believes is worth far more than the ($720) Leeds has offered him.

According to the Weekly Telegraph, some of the leading professors at Leeds have been finding bags of burning dog shit on their front porches.

One particular night, Professor Mantlepiece, tried to stomp out the flame causing a direct spray to his face. When he ran inside he saw another bag on fire on the back porch but when he went through that door, a bucket of piss over the door came down over his head.

At least the bucket of piss put out the flames from the still burning dog shit in the professor's hair.

However, as he stomped the bag on the back porch, some more sprayed wherein he ran inside and spotted yet another flaming bag of feces on the front porch.

After six burning bags and three buckets of piss and missing his hair and eyebrows, Professor Mantlepiece was hauled away by an ambulance while screaming, "Give him whatever money it takes! I'll go help shovel up lizard shit if he wants. Egads, I look like lizard shit myself without any hair!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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