Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 20 March 2009

image for 'Women Wouldn't Have Got Us Into This Mess' Firm Britone Tells ITV
"You have been a bad boy! Look at the state of the economy!"

Firm Britone, the 'bubbly' TV host and unthinking man's crumpet told ITV bosses that they were to blame for the plight of the independent television channel.

Speaking to an audience who were expecting a political rather than media heavyweight, Britone said "If a woman, such as myself, had been running things then it would have been so different. It all comes down to attention to detail. Look at Coronation Street. I think it is in dire need of some new cushion covers."

Britone's comments have caused much debate. Normally she fronts a show with Feellip Shitfield. On the show, helpfully called 'This Morning' in case you forget the time of day or where you are, they normally deal with major issues of the day, such as how to clean your curtains, what to wear this spring and how to bring about the destruction of Al Quaeda's terrorist network.

However, Britone has broken from this with an all out attack on the men running ITV. If women were running the major television companies then Hearbeat might have survived. But then again it might not have. It is shite.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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