Three activists were today jailed for the firebombing of a research facility in Cambridge which specialised in looking for a cure for AIDS. The activists were members of "Viruses, Infections And Germs' Rights Association" (VIAGRA), which is running a violent campaign to support the rights of viruses.
No-one was injured in the firebombing, but it is thought that the search for a cure for AIDS may have been put back by a few months due to the loss of work. The bombers were sentenced to three years in prison each.
A clearly insane spokesman for VIAGRA said, "These people are martyrs to our cause. Viruses are living things and have rights too. They should be able to live without fear of oppression. By trying to eradicate AIDS, we are committing a mass genocide of the virus. We should support AIDS and allow it to live freely in society, even if it kills people. Viruses are not murderers, they just have a different way of living, and we should embrace that diversity. A virus has the right to live in anyone's body as they have done for centuries."
At this point the spokesman was mobbed by a pack of angry passers by.