Hot on the heels of warnings about dancing in the street, London Mayor, Doris Johnson today added this chilling rejoinder:
"Dancing is the street is obviously wrong, but dancing on the ceiling is even worse. If you're dancing on the ceiling then for starters you're upside down. And have obviously been using some illegal drugs. Either that or you're a shape-shifting gravity-defying alien who most likely is physically dependent on a space drug, such as aspartame for example."
Ceiling dancer Ronnie Gillette, 27, of Stockwell told us:
"What a load of old bollix. I've been dancing on ceilings for five years now, and the punters love it. What a feeling! Old Doris has clearly lost the plot. Pretty much like the author of this pathetic story, who has been in an alcoholic fugue since Saint Patrick's day. But the bastard has work tomorrow. Heh Heh."
More as we get it