A secret meeting took place this evening in a Whitehall gentleman's club involving popular writers from top website TheSpoof.com
Taking the chair, Mr Roy Turse, with his son accompanying for moral support, told the assembly, and I quote:
"Some stories get flogged to death, brothers and sisters. Stories about huge cocks and even huger vaginas, stories about pirate ships, and soccerball, but some things are best just left alone.
"This is one of the stories which would be better left alone. You all know of the story to which I refer, and its variants. As far as I'm concerned, I never saw her face in a half bitten Mars bar, or in a bag of Doritos."
At which point. Spoof writer Skoob1999 stood up and challenged:
"What about the Buggerall you bastard? Where's that going then? Eh? Eh?"
This reporter is pleased to confirm that Mr Turse and son remained calm throughout the tirade, telling us EXCLUSIVELY:
"He's a nice guy normally, but he's still pissed and suffering a terrible hangover from the Saint Patrick's day celebrations."
Spoof writer Fergus McCarthy concluded the meeting by saying:
"Some things are better left alone. Ya bollix." before collapsing face down in a hungover stupour.
Spoof writers eh? What can you do with 'em? Me, I have no idea. Suggestions on a postcard to the Lowton fella.
More as we get it