Written by Harry Porter
Print this
Topics: Surgery, Dentists

Saturday, 26 June 2004

image for Massage and fellatio head dentists' poll to ease tension
Heads you win! Massage can take the tension out of a trip to the dentist.

A Leeds-based dental practice is taking the pain and stress out of a visit to the surgery and replacing it with pleasure.

And patients have declared that fellatio and Indian head massage are just the drill for removing the fear factor before settling down in the dentist's chair.

Dormund, Payne & Son, the UK's fastest expanding chain of practices, asked all appointments to rate what ‘natural' methods of relaxation they would like to see in place when they entered the waiting room.

Acupressure, reflexology, aromatherapy, hypnotherapy, meditation, Reiki, acupuncture, Ayurvedic and Indian head massage were all listed in the brief survey; patients were also given the opportunity to put forward their own suggestions.

And the respondents gave a big thumbs-up to Indian head massage, a recognised and accepted means of easing tension. Many male patients put forward their own suggestion that fellatio would help them relax.

Roy Westerbrook, General Manager at the Leeds central practice, said: "Dentistry is what we're about, not homeopathic or alternative treatments, but if we can do anything to relax our patients then we will consider it.

"Obviously I'm not an expert but I'm told head massage and fellatio have been popular for centuries so there must be some worth in them.

"I've still to take the findings to the board but don't be surprised if you see people queuing up for a trip to the dentist soon."

Make Harry Porter's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

6 13 20 5
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more