Written by Rodd Justice

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Monday, 11 February 2002

image for Prince Harry's Royal Shame
Yoof Thug?

Shocking news this weekend from our Royals: Harry has turned into some kind of yoof thug.

His drunken, stoned, sickening antics resembled those of a Premiership footballer. Harry should remember that he is a member of the Royal Family, and should in no circumstances be like that shower of over-paid under-worked national embarrassments.

News of the beer-fuelled drug shame shocked many in the country. Mainly because of the utter disrespect shown to the following:

PRINCE WILLIAM - Wills is understood to be sickened by Harry's failure to be more perfect, like him.

PRINCE CHARLES - Greatest parent ever, ashamed at failure of a son.

THE QUEEN - Her Majesty is particularly upset that her Jubilee Year celebrations could be disrupted by Harry's drug-dealer friends.

THE QUEEN MUM, GOD BLESS HER - Angry that Harry didn't OD, especially after suspicions were raised about the currency used in the drug deals.

PRINCESS DIANA - How dare he be her son!

And the question must be asked: what kind of behaviour is this by someone who our brave squaddies are looking up to as a role-model? They should in no way be hearing about Harry's activities, loutish antics worthy of the "lads" who embarrass this nation in Ibiza every year. A senior army officer has actually predicted tonight a 35' increase in US-style "friendly fire" bloopers as a result of

Harry-influenced under-the-influence sessions among the ranks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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