Written by Dungeekin
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

image for Good Samaritan Charity Launch 'JadeLine'

A counselling charity has announced it is setting up a new 'Jade Helpline', to help those most affected deal with the impending loss of the reality TV person.

The new Jadeline service will be a private number issued only to tabloid journalists, dealing with the grief of actually having to go back to work and report some real news instead of simply reprinting Max Clifford's latest press release.

Sources within The Sun and The Mirror have reported many 'journalists' suffering 'severe Post-Goody Stress Disorder' following the revelation that they would actually have to find proper stories to write about. One reporter, who declined to be named, said, "we've spent weeks just splurging the latest blurb from Max all over the front page, with yet another photo. Many of our staff have forgotten what little they knew about real journalism - we're terrified, what are we gonna do when the Jade gravy train is gone?"

Spokesman Em Pathy said, "we realise that the impending tragic death of Jade Goody will be a moment for tremendous grief within the tabloid industry. The loss of easy headlines, pap-shots of a non-sleb and the marked reduction in revenue stream from kiss-n-tell stories is a matter for major concern, and the Samaritans will be there for all those tabloid hacks who are facing a future of proper work".

Ms Pathy added that the Samaritans were starting a campaign to make Post-Goody Stress Disorder a recognised and legitimate mental illness and eligible for incapacity benefit.

Your Correspondent attempted to approach Jack Tweed for comment, during a brief window when he wasn't in jail, but unfortunately had the crap beaten out of him by Mr Tweed armed with a golf club.

Make Dungeekin's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 12 13 8

Go to top