In a rare moment of self deprecation, yes very rare, UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has told a reporter from Midland's newspaper, the Daily Splog, that he enjoys having his pet Bengal tiger lick his feet every morning before commencing his daily chores.
He says that without this daily indulgence he cannot properly focus his energies on the every day challenges of running Britain Inc, sorry, United Kingdom. Mr Brown says that Ernie, the eleven month old tiger given to him by the President of India, has meant more to him than any woman including his present wife.
"Ernie and I enjoy a warm, intimate relationship and there have been times when I've even shared my bed with him" revealed the kinky Scottish leader.
However, his thoughts are not shared by his wife Margaret who says that she is missing out on all the things a woman should be expecting in a marriage.
"That f...ing tiger! I'm going to shoot its brains out!" screamed Mrs Brown who refused to be interviewed with her husband.
Postscript: Police have been called to 10 Downing Street to remove a dead animal carcass following a domestic dispute. No word yet on whether Ernie and Mr Brown were hurt.