Written by Miko
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Monday, 16 March 2009

Contrary to popular belief immigrants are far better off than good old native scroungers of this great country of ours. Yesterday I spoke to one example, Mohamad Zeep, who told me through an interpeter that he came here from Iraq three months ago and has claimed and received the following AMAZING benefits:

Free Housing (luxury docklands penthouse flat with all mod cons). Free Mobilty Scooter, Car and Caravanette with One Years Free Fuel. Lifetime pension of £756 per week plus free £230 a day food allowance. Free Season ticket to Wigan Athletic FC. Twenty crates of Dom Perignon, 250 cigars, open ended clothing allowance to shop free of charge at a selection of 25 upmarket stores in London, including Harrods.

I was also stunned to hear that Mohamad, who looks a cross between Omar Sharif and Fred Flintstone, had two weeks earlier secretly wed an ex-member of the royal family after befriending Prince Chrales at a recent polo event that he had received a free invitation to by an undiclosed member of the labour party.

Now i'm not one to cast aspersions, but these bloody foreigners seem to get everything handed to them on a silver platter. I'm not a racist but I think they should put them all on the next boat back to where they came from and sod the expense. Australias nice, why don't they shove off there!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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