Austria - There was consternation today as Austrian weirdo and sexual pervert, Josef Fritzl appeared in court to face charges of murder, incest, and rape.
Fritzl, 74, made his way into the courtroom holding a loose leaf folder over his face, which would appear to be a waste of time as his picture is in all the papers anyway.
The Austrian nut case stands accused of holding his own daughter prisoner in a basement for 25 years, of raping her 3,000 plus times, and of causing her to give birth to seven children.
"It was an impulsive thing," he told the court. "My mother is to blame for all this. She never wanted me. I had crisis of identity, so I give daughter big love. I thought she liked it."
"Impulsive things don't drag on for 25 years," the judge told the old git."And you seriously expect this court to believe that you acted impulsively 3,000 plus times over a 25 year period? You're havin' a fucking laugh aren't you?"
"If I were Michael Jackson I'd be acquitted viz my reputation intact!" Fritzl yelled at the bench. "He appears in ze Below Decks saga in der Spoof, plus he is rich, so he gets preferential treatment. It is just so unfair. Bastards!"
The hearing continues.