The United Kingdom's Chief medical Officer is worried about the increasing consumption of booze in Britain. Sir T. Temperance Totaller proposes that the cost of getting blottoed be doubled in the UK.
Parliamentarians yelled and screamed simultaneously about the recession and how these taxes would hurt " hard drinking families across John Bull's Island." MP M.T. Glass told me:
"This unAmerican...and really really unUnited Kingdomish. Everyone knows the Magna carta was written under the influence and that Robin Hood had his own still in Sherwood Forest. The whole affair was a drinkingman's uprising against the prohibitionist Sheriff of NOT-ingham.
"Robin's merry men had good reason for those dopey smiles! We beat the Hun two times in the last century on good and not so good Scotch whiskey and if Blair had no gotten drunk with Off the wagon Bush maybe they wouldn't have been so pissy and going about torturing people!"