Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Jade Goody

Saturday, 14 March 2009

image for Jade Publicist: My Cancer Crusade
The New Unit

The publicist working for Jade Goody has spoken of his desire to raise public awareness about his work. Clax Mifford has said that he wishes to help a "great number" of dying celebrities.

"If I can earn 20% from each one then I will be able to retire early and go and live somewhere really nice. Obviously I already have a mansion in Surrey, but I really want to make the big time. The more terminally ill celebs there are the richer I'm going to get."

Parasite Clax has made so much money that he has decided to open the Clax Mifford Unit For Sick Rich People. He plans to drain the resources from this unit as much as he can.

"I am on a crusade. I have seen the light. If I can get three terminally ill celebs then I can retire stinking rich."

The Clax Mifford Unit is expected to open as soon as Goody dies, so that he can exploit the next dying individual.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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