Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 14 March 2009

image for Goody's wedding dress 'turning into a new Turin Shroud'
Unlike the Turin version 'of some hairy old man' Jade's dress is covered in images on an angel

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The Vatican Orifice for Miracles and Portents has certified Jade Goody's wedding dress as miraculous garb after Turin Shroud-like images began to appear on its silken folds this week.

This started a frenetic internet bidding war for the £5,000 frock with Halo! magazine outbidding LA FagHagSlagMag's best-priced offer by $100,000.

"If she dies on Jade Good(y) Friday we'll have to post guards outside the mausoleum where she's to be interred," genius PR guru Max Cliff-Hanger said today, "in case of grave-robbers...er, an Easter Sunday resurrection miracle!"

The shimmering satin gown may next go on a world tour of future Goody healing shrines that Clifford is planning to erect in her honor.

Jack Weed is back in the slammer.

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