Written by NODDY
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Friday, 13 March 2009

image for New study blurs future for millions

An exhaustive study carried out by experts from two British Universities over three years has shown that there is now only an 13% happiness difference on the Mallard-Roberts scale, comparing achievement/satisfaction/lifestyle.

The respected measure, introduced in 1989, aims to show the difference between getting qualifications/good job/mortgage, etc. and dropping out/never working/drinking extra-strong lager all day/benefits scrounging etc. Indicators show that although dropouts never attain personal fulfilment, job satisfaction or a large salary (and consequent large mortgage), they are very capable of happiness up to 60%, and of course never pay tax and have a fairly stress-free life.

A person working hard at school, getting a good job and following the 'traditional' life route chosen by the majority, is always in debt from the age of 18. This is the typical age at which people decide on 47 years hard labour or "why bother?" and copping out.

Although the good job will bring rewards such as large house/nice car, the recipient of these is always under stress to maintain that lifestyle. Their 'happiness quotient' can be as high as 86%, but averages 73%.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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