The Government had announced plans to tax chocolate. In a highly controversial move the Chancellor, Alistair 'The Eagle' Darling said "We have taken expert medical advice. This is for the benefit of the nation. It is not an attempt to secretly raise taxation. Oh no, we don't do things like that".
But what was that medical advice? Chief medical advisor to the government, Dr Andi Medix, said "I was at a function and I saw John Prescott stuffing his face with an eclair. All I did was tell him to leave some for the others. But Gordon Broon overheard and it gave him an idea".
Indeed, the government has come up with a plan to collect retrospective taxation-a very rare action indeed. Lord Mandelson, fast becoming a key all rounder in the cabinet, has been given the job. He will be visiting every home in the country and will be inspecting bins, drains and even the contents of your bowels. He has been ordered to get to the bottom of the problem.
There is one piece of good news. The government is going to create around 1000 new jobs. Chocolate Tax Inspectors will be needed, because Mandelson will soon be up to his elbows in government business.