Written by Steddyeddy
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Thursday, 12 March 2009

image for Peter Mandelson to fund custard company
Lord Nelson wishes someone could have thrown eyes at him

In a surprise move announced today, Lord Mandelson is funding a new venture, the "Lordmandy Custard Company".

Based on his vast experience with custard, the company plans to produce a range of coloured custards, using only natural ingredients of course.

He is engaging the services of Leila Deen, the enranged bint who chucked custard over his suit at a recent event. She has been charged not only by the police, but by Lord Mandelson with researching the best types of custard for both eating and throwing over politicians.

Lord Mandelson said; "We owe it to the public to develop something unique that members of the public can throw over politicians. The Americans have shoes, the Iraqis have suicide bombers, and the French have garlic, so it is only right as a major player in world politics we should have our own bespoke missile."

Custard-throwing lessons for the public are being sponsored by Johnsons the dry cleaners.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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