Written by Skoob1999
Print this
Topics: Poo

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

image for Syrup Of Figs Cure All Known Ailments Claims Nutritionist
See, Syrup Of Figs - The Consequences

Hartley Street nutritionist Bejam Butty today stated that Syrup Of Figs should be taken by every citizen in the world as a dietary supplement, claiming that such a practice would immunise people against almost every ailment known to medical science.

"This stuff is amazing," Bejam Butty told TheSpoof.com. "It's been scientifically proven to ward off anomolies such as crossed-eyes, colds, flu, underdeveloped testicles, acne, uneven breasts, impotence, overlarge piss-flaps, hair loss, vertigo, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, triskidekophobia, German Measles, Mumps and premature ejaculation. Oh, and ugliness too. And the beauty of it is that you only need to take a teaspoon a day, measured of course. Did I mention that my brother-in-law runs the UK's biggest syrup of figs processing plant?"

This reporter however, remains to be convinced.

I told myself, and us:

"When I was a nipper, I was forced to take syrup of figs and it didn't do anything much. Apart from give me the screaming shits."

More nutritional tidbits as we get them

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

7 20 24 13
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more