Tory Leader David Cameron Speaking at Prime Minister's Question Time, called for new and improved torture probes. He said existing probes have not proved effective enough in extracting information from Islamic no-fun-and-mentalists being held in chalets in Morecambe Bay.
He stressed the new probes need to have more of a jagged point at the tip which would provide more pain upon insertion thus providing more information from the detainee on terrorist whereabouts.
He went on to say the 'weapons of ass destruction' could have a usb connection allowing them to download extra features and software updates such as an increased voltage in the 'gentle shock' mode.
It is thought the Virgin group are looking to bid for the contract to manufacture the new probes.